NO regrets

About No Regrets

In the course of writing this book, I have interviewed hundreds of people who shared with me their personal stories of regret. Some of these inspiring individuals overcame truly devastating regrets to find meaning and wholeness in the present. Others succumbed to the temptation to hold onto their regrets and suffered terribly for it. Still others wrestled with their regrets, letting go of some and holding onto others. All of them shared their stories with me. I was surprised by how universal regrets seem to be and by how much people wanted to talk about their burdensome regrets in hope of finding a way to let them go.

I also met with scholars, clergy, and practitioners in psychology, psychiatry, and spirituality to devise an effective program for people burdened by regrets. The result is the Ten Step program described in No Regrets and summarized on this website. It works.

Regrets are inevitable in life, because each decision represents a road not taken. We cannot know what that road would have brought us. Likewise, the big events of our life send us down certain roads that deny us other roads we might have preferred. No one escapes regrets. Some people, however, let them go shortly after they occur and re-focus their lives on the present. Others hold onto the regret and sink into the past.

I began this book as a project to help a friend find a way to let go of a burdensome regret. As always seems to happen when we set out to help someone else, we are helped most of all. In considering the problem of my friend's regret, I had to come to terms with three big regrets of my own that I had not been able to release, including a death I had never been able to grieve. Each of my regrets clearly met the criterion of a burdensome regret: interfering with my enjoyment of the present and with the future I wanted to claim for myself. Yet I didn't know what to do about them in a practical way. I couldn't seem to let them go. In researching and writing No Regrets, I found a way to do it. I worked the Ten Steps described in this book on my own regrets, and I have let them go. I am amazed by that. And very grateful.

What I have done, you can do, too.

No Regrets will show you how.